Rose or Noah? Who Should Run the Bulls’ Offense Next Season?
16 Things Every College Student Does on their Boring Spring Break at Home
Rant of the Week: Fuck You, Buzzfeed
The Bears Resign Jay Cutler, Because They’re Not Stupid
It’s Official: ‘Return of Kings’ is the Worst Blog on the Internet

2014 NBA Bad Awards

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As the NBA season comes to a close, several players will receive special recognition for their excellence on the court. But here at Coach’s Rant, we’re not about patting guys on the back– we’re about kicking them when they’re down. Continue reading

Exposing Tradition: Mind Your P’s and Q’s

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“Exposing Tradition” is a series of articles in which I will take a step back and try to put our society’s various traditions into a logical perspective. We live in a world governed by tradition. People seem content on doing Continue reading

Rose or Noah? Who Should Run the Bulls’ Offense Next Season?

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After Derrick Rose went down in November, most people thought the Bulls’ season was over. They had no depth, no scoring. They lacked the cap space to sign a major free agent in the off-season, so many thought the team would Continue reading

16 Things Every College Student Does on their Boring Spring Break at Home

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Whelp, it’s officially spring break season. If you’re like me, you don’t have any friends or a lot of money, so you spend the week at home. What starts as a pleasant homecoming soon devolves into a bleak reminder of Continue reading

Rant of the Week: Women

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Relax feminists– put down your castration devices, stop trying to look up my address and hear me out. Believe me, I’m on your side. I consider myself a feminist (despite my lack of activism and, you know… penis.) Women should Continue reading

Is Online Dating Still Weird?

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I’m curious, is online dating still weird? In the past, online dating seemed to be reserved for nervous 29 year-old’s who were past their primes and running out of time; or miserable 45 year-old’s, fresh off a divorce and in Continue reading

The Phantom Shitters — A Short Story

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This is a story I wrote for my Fiction Writing class in college. My professor claimed he has never once been grossed-out by a student’s story. I took that as a challenge. This story is loosely based on some of Continue reading

Rant of the Week: Fuck You, Buzzfeed

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As a blogger, there are few things on the World Wide Web I abhor more than Buzzfeed. “You’re just a hater!” Right… I’m super jealous of Buzzfeed. I absolutely love their articles. I’m up late at night– hoping… praying… dreaming that one day– ONE DAY!– Continue reading

Weird Shit I Used To Do as a Kid: Crossword Puzzles and Handheld Yahtzee

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“I was such a weirdo in high school.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that statement since I’ve been in college. Really? You were weird? Let’s make this abundantly clear: you were NOT as weird as I Continue reading

Coach’s Rant: A Year in Review

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One year ago today, I started this blog in an attempt to change the world. Okay, that’s bullshit. I started this blog because I’m a self-centered asshole with an insatiable thirst for the approval of others. Nevertheless, within that time, Continue reading